C.S. Lewis, in his book The Four Loves, explored the nature of love by categorizing it into four distinct types, drawing from both classical Greek terminology and Christian theology. His exploration was rooted in his understanding of human relationships and divine love.
Storge (Affection)
This is the most basic and widely diffused form of love. It is the affection found within families, often seen between parents and children or among close friends who share a familiar bond. Lewis described it as a humble and comforting love that is grounded in familiarity and routine. However, he warned that affection can become possessive or selfish if not balanced, potentially leading to jealousy and manipulation SuperSummary, Wikipedia.
Philia (Friendship)
Lewis held friendship in high regard, noting its unique nature compared to other forms of love. Unlike affection, which is often biologically or socially necessary, friendship is freely chosen and based on shared interests or values. He lamented the modern underappreciation of friendship, which he believed was once considered the “crown of life” in classical and medieval times. He felt that true friendship can foster personal growth and virtue but warned of its potential exclusivity, which can lead to pride and cliquishness Focus on the Family, Wikipedia.
Eros (Romantic Love)
Eros, in Lewis’s view, transcends mere sexual attraction (which he referred to as Venus) and encompasses the deep romantic love between partners. This form of love is characterized by a desire for the beloved as a whole person rather than just physical gratification. While Eros can elevate human experience, Lewis cautioned that it can also become a destructive force if idolized or treated as an end in itself, potentially leading to irrational behavior and moral compromise LitCharts, Wikipedia.
Agape (Charity)
This is the highest form of love, characterized by its selflessness and unconditional nature. Unlike the other three, which can be tainted by selfish desires, agape is purely altruistic and seeks the good of others without expecting anything in return. Lewis describes it as the love that God has for humanity and encourages Christians to aspire to this form of love, which surpasses all other loves in its purity and divine origin. It requires that all natural loves be subordinated to it, as it aligns human love with divine will SuperSummary, Wikipedia.
Lewis distinguished between Need-love, Gift-love, and Appreciative love. Need-love is dependent and seeks fulfillment from others, similar to a child’s dependence on a parent. Gift-love is altruistic, giving without expectation of return, and often exemplified by parental care. Appreciative love, on the other hand, is characterized by admiration and delight in the beloved’s qualities Focus on the Family.
Lewis thought that while all four loves are important, they must be properly ordered and directed by agape to prevent them from becoming corrupted or idolatrous. He argued that love, in its fullest sense, involves both human and divine dimensions, and understanding these nuances can lead to a richer, more meaningful life.
Here is a fun C.S. Lewis Doodle of The Four Loves on YouTube
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